They say time heals wounds, by now, it should have brought a corpse back to life. While it's not been an exceptionally long time (meaning I'm sure there's been longer, in the history of relationships), I hoped that, at least, part of the anger would have subsided. 7 months is a long time to be without your best friend, the man you wanted to be with for the remainder of your life. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused him.
Long gone are the cherished moments, the talking for hours on end, with little sleep. Long gone are the late nights, close together and the feeling of being complete. Long gone are the silly, immature moments. Long gone are the moments, in which, we exposed every insecurity, fantasy and supported each other. Long gone is the lack of feeling awkward, even when things were new to us.
While the vicious anger still stirs within him, there is little I can do. My options are only to try (even when that fails, like it did, this morning), and to be there whenever he's come to terms with things, and is able to talk.
These things being said, I've learned that nothing can change, if things remain stagnant. I need to summon the strength to pursue things that need to be accomplished and to not fall prey to fear, and the unknown.
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